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Born Poets :: Poetry :: Jim's poems---formal & rhyming :: Terminal Care

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Topic: Terminal Care (Read 88 times)

bombadil1247
thousandposter

The Metre Man
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Goldberry, river daughter

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Terminal Care
« Thread Started on Sept 29, 2005, 8:49am »

Terminal Care

Ah might as well be lyin deid
fur aw you care;
ye nivir pass the time o day,
ye nivir hear a wurd Ah say,
Ah might as well huv passed away,
fur aw you care.

Ah might as well huv popped ma clogs
fur aw you care;
ye barely wash an cook fur me,
ye rarely even make ma tea,
Ah might as well drink TCP,
fur aw you care.

Ah mind a time when we were young
when ye did care;
we’d go tae aw the swanky spots,
or kiss and cuddle on empty lots,
Ah mind ye used tae get the hots,
when ye did care.

Bit thae times huv long sinced passed
noo ye don’t care;
ye nivir think o me that wey,
ye ayewis go raither than stey,
an’ baith oor lives ur aw aglae,
noo ye don’t care.

Though it rips oot ma very hert
Ah wullnae care;
so Ah’ll forget the lass Ah wed,
Ah’ll lie here in ma single bed,
where faur too mony a tear’s been shed,
an wullnae care.

Wi this cancer eatin through me
Ah canny care;
nae hope o life is left tae me
ma hope in life ye’ve taen fae me
ye only want tae be set free
fae aw this care.

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Rainbowthreads
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Re: Terminal Care
« Reply #1 on Sept 29, 2005, 8:53am »

Rabbie!!! Where ya been laddie?

gud lord, mon!

LOL...I shall return with Billy Connelly to translate for me (just a poor Sassernack here as ya ken)

huggles

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allurad
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Re: Terminal Care
« Reply #2 on Sept 29, 2005, 9:12am »

It was a bit of a challenge to read this, but did not stop me from doing so three times.
It strikes a chord in me, having a husband who went through a very tough time fighting cancer, a very rough few years. But I did care, and do~ *s*
Enjoyed the read, sad though it is. Of course I have always been partial to poems and music that makes me cry~

btw~
I love the avatar....it is a faerie I have used to symolize myself for almost 10 years on the net......the main pic on my webpages cover sheet.....love it~

« Last Edit: Sept 29, 2005, 9:15am by allurad »

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bags123
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Re: Terminal Care
« Reply #3 on Sept 29, 2005, 9:47am »

I love Burns,.... so how could I not be enthralled with such wonderful wordplay. I've got another poet friend
Alex O'Caimph, who also writes in his native Scottish
brogue. Not as lilting as the Irish brogue,... but almost as entertaining. Excellent work

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Rainbowthreads
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Re: Terminal Care
« Reply #4 on Sept 29, 2005, 3:40pm »

Well, well...I must be drunk...it reads so clearly now, I can't think why I ran tae Billy at all!!

Mind, at times, laddy, it reads like my Americky Pie which as we awl ken is a take off of Rabbie and nae to be teken serious mon.

I'm right proud to be knowing ye,
huggles

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bombadil1247
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Re: Terminal Care
« Reply #5 on Sept 29, 2005, 5:01pm »

Hi, Allurad,

Quote:

It strikes a chord in me, having a husband who went through a very tough time fighting cancer,

I'm sorry if this brought back sad memories, it was never my intention to cause distress. Several years ago I talked with a McMillan nurse - they specialise in caring for terminal patients - who told me that this type of reaction was common, particularly in the male patients.

They tended to take their pain and frustration out on their wives, who in turn tried to avoid being left alone with the patient because of this. Of course, this avoidance added fuel to the complaints and resentment. She believed that the patients knew they were doing this but couldn't help themselves.

I wrote this in 'the tongue' partly as an exercise to see how it would be received but mainly because it gave me a stronger sense of validity - my father died of cancer, though I was not privy to the interactions between him and my mother.

Hi, Bags, thanks for dropping by,

Quote:

I love Burns,.

This piece is loosely based on the Burns' stanza, but I opted for the 2nd and 6th as dimeters rather than 4th and 6th - didn't want too many parallels being drawn, that's a comparison I'll always lose.

Hi, RT,

Quote:

it reads so clearly now, I can't think why I ran tae Billy at all!!

Glad you were able to decipher this. It is actually much more accessible than it would be if I'd used a broad Fife accent - I've lived amongst them for 50 years now and still have problems, I'm also still an 'incomer'